Ain’t My Cross – #14

I have met many people with MS. The ones that stand out most in my mind fall into two categories. The first group are the self proclaimed “MS Geeks” (Hi Linde!). The MS Geeks want to know everything about MS. They do alot of research, they take some form of disease modification drugs, and they talk about their MS. MS Geeks interview doctors, attend MS seminars and typically maintain a highly positive attitude not only about MS but about life in general. The trait I most admire about MS geeks is that they know the answer they need is out there and they are committed to finding it and being open to it when it presents itself.

The second group ignores their MS. They usually don’t take drugs unless it is to treat a symptom. They often succumb to depression and self pity. They don’t attend MS functions either for fear of being identified with MS or seeing other people in different stages of MS. They don’t talk about their MS and silently hope it will go away. They are smart, and they know things are going to get worse but they ignore it and chose to deal with it later. This group tunes out and is not looking for the answer. When the answer presents itself, they will be unavailable in either body or mind. They feel MS is their cross to bear.

Getting MS is not a choice. How you deal with MS, or any other disease or problem, that is a choice. It may be easier to ignore MS. It may be easier to appear and act like nothing is going on. It may be tough to elicit support and ask for help. It might really suck to analyze your diet and cut out the things you love to make you feel better. Change is never easy but always necessary in dealing with health issues. Confronting Doctors when you think they may be wrong (or bad) is not comfortable but also very necessary.

When I was first diagnosed I wanted to do whatever I could to help myself but not let MS rule my life. I didn’t want to think about it all the time. I wanted to treat it and forget about it. I wanted to be in the middle of the geeks and group two. I speak from experience when I say choose a group! Take a stand! If you stay in the middle too long it is so much easier and natural to slide into denial. I am not in the middle anymore.

I am a GEEK baby and MS ain’t my cross to bear!


4 responses to “Ain’t My Cross – #14

  1. hey sweet sister! I always told you that you are a geek!! I love you!


  2. Charles-A. Rovira

    I am definitely a GEEK! 🙂

  3. “The trait I most admire about MS geeks is that they know the answer they need is out there and they are committed to finding it and being open to it when it presents itself.”

    This is key, Favorite Sister In Law! Keep searching and keep yourself open.

    Love you — AA

  4. I’m sorry but I have to disagree a bit with your second group category. I have had MS for over 15 years and am currently on no medication. Oh, I tried them…Avonex twice and it was awful. As I assume you have researched that not all MSers are the same, experience the same symptoms, etc. I do not have symptoms for over 3 years and maintain a busy, physical life. I dislike your grouping because I do stay alert to MS research, receive daily MS alerts through google (how I found you), have many friends that I speak to weekly who have MS, etc. I refuse to think about MS every waking minute because I do not want it to be a part of my everyday life. I will not focus on this MonSter. I don’t ignore it but I don’t dwell on it. I see my neuro every 6 months. It is not my cross to bear. I was diagnosed when betaseron was available but one was put on a waiting list and I chose not to. I had a baby which I was advised not to because of the MS. If I had listened, I would not have my beautiful daughter. I am a happy, well-informed 40+ year old woman who has had MS for over 15 years but I will not let it be a part of my every day life with shots, etc. Everyone with MS is different and we should not be categorized.

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