Goodnight MS – #23

I have MS today. I know that I have MS all the time, but it is not always present. It has been sneaking up quietly. Quiet enough for me to ignore. Today is different. Today my MS wants attention. I hope this entry will be sufficient!

MS offers many symptoms. My MS today is affecting my balance and my strength. Sometimes the floor comes up to meet a step before I am ready or I feel like the car is moving when it isn’t. Tied in with that is a general shift in balance. It’s like my head is tilted but it isn’t. Sometimes the whole room moves just enough to throw me off but luckily, nothing is spinning.

Being in constant motion even when I am not moving is hard to explain but I guess it feels like the day after a long boat ride or the hour after a turbulent roller coaster ride. I feel like this when I have jet lag. Being in small rooms is tough because my eyes are always near something that appears to be moving. It is better for me to either be sitting still with my eyes closed or moving really fast outdoors.

I also have a general lack of feeling in my legs and arms especially in my hands and feet. There is feeling but not as much as there should be.

Yesterday I thought about calling the doctor but I want to give this some time. I want to see if it will pass over the weekend. Maybe I can chase it away with wheatgrass shots? That stuff could scare a grown man away! Of course, if I feel worse Monday, I will call the doctor. My experience says that he will recommend steriods and I will turn them down. After my last steriod induced fun I am not sure that the reward is worth the risk. That being said, maybe there is a smaller dose available or maybe there will be another recommendation. I did start to feel really good about three weeks after the steriods but now, only two months later I am sliding? Maybe this is typical.

If this happened a year ago I would have said things like, “I probably didn’t eat enough today”(which was rarely the case!) or “I must be coming down with something” or “I must be crazy!”

The good news is that I got up this morning for my Yoga! When my alarm went off I almost slept in but remembered how committed I was to getting up in yesterday’s entry. I guess it’s true that if you put it in writing, your goals are more likely to happen.

If that is true…..

I hear you MS, I am taking care of myself. You can go be quiet now. Be quiet and be careful because I am going to put you to sleep for good.

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3 responses to “Goodnight MS – #23

  1. I just love your attitude.

  2. Keep going, Girlfriend!

    Acknowledge what is happening, what you are feeling, and move forward!

    Now would be a good time to open up “Wherever You Go There You Are” – the Jon Kabat-Zinn books – short chapters you can read a day at a time. He will help with the yoga and the meditation. Let me know what you think! LOVE YOU!

  3. Foot-drop … man I hate that. Watch your step so you don’t end up in the hospital for something the Doctors CAN cure. (i.e. cuts, bruises and broken bones)

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