I should stop experimenting – #31

After all my careful planning I thought today would be great. My alarm went off at 5:00 a.m. and I said to myself, “Ok time to get up for Yoga”. I replied to myself, “Are you out of your mind?!” I slept until 6:00 and woke up feeling down but still better than last week. I thought maybe taking the shot early was the right thing to do after all. It’s now almost 1:00 p.m. and I really want to go to bed. I feel awful.

I should know better than to experiment like this. When I was a Sophmore in high school, my friend and I decided to be bulemic for a day. Anorexia was out of the question as we both love to eat. We thought it would be cool to eat whatever we want and then throw it up. The only problem was that I could not make myself throw up. I think I hate throwing up more than I hate not eating!! My brilliant friend suggested Ipacac syrup. We both bought a small bottle of the throw up syrup and went home. I ate a box of girl scout cookies (yes, the whole box) and then promtly drank Ipacac Syrup and waited. About 32 seconds after swallowing the syrup, my friend called and screamed, “Don’t do it, don’t take it, I can’t stop throwing up!” I was almost relieved that it worked for her as I had just comsumed a billion calories and knew if I didn’t throw up soon, they would turn to fat.

Here comes the lesson…..I never threw up. I really wanted to throw up. I was so sick, I could not stand up straight but nothing came up. Those girl scout cookies are still sitting on my hips! I should have known then that I would not have good luck with drugs.

So here I sit today wondering why I gave up yesterday afternoon to continue to feel lousy today. I gave up tucking my daughter in to bed last night so I could get more than 10 hours of sleep and feel super today. I will not give that moment up again. I will find another way.


One response to “I should stop experimenting – #31

  1. Good Grief! I’m a bit relieved that your adventure failed! It’s like trying to get addicted to smoking on purpose!

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