Still Learning – #42

Bailey is in a new math class. I helped her with homework last night. For THREE hours. I have not thought about some of the math problems we did last night for years. I had to learn how to divide fractions again so I could teach her. I had to refresh my memory about angles and protractors and degrees and percentages. I was so tired and frustrated by the time she went to bed that I was mad. I wasn’t mad at her but I felt so irritated and annoyed. I thought about those days in high school geometry and algebra thinking, “When will I ever use this in real life?” Now I know.

After Bailey went to bed, Mark told me that there was a shooting at Trolley Square in Salt Lake City. Trolleysquareshooting. We sat down and watched the news to try and figure out what happened. Six people died at our hometown shopping area. Four people are in hospitals fighting for their lives or recovering from gun shot injuries. These people now dead, or near death went out to dinner with their families, or dropped by the mall to pick up Valentine’s gifts and they were shot. They were shot.

While I sat at the kitchen table annoyed that I was spending time doing math homework, a boy and his father were shot. The father died and they boy had brain surgery this morning.

I was pissed off for spending three hours helping my child do her homework while people were dying at the mall.

Everyone is upset. Everyone is talking about it and thinking about it here and across the country. While it made me sad and scared and reminded me of how I felt after 9/11, nothing really registered until my sister-in-law called me from New Hampshire. I don’t know if this will make sense but before she called, I thought about how I should feel but I didn’t really feel how I was feeling. She called me at work this morning and said, “I am just calling to say that I am so glad and relieved that you were not at Trolley Square last night”. Her phone call made me profoundly grateful for being safe and loved, and so sad for the families that were in the right place at the wrong time.

Tonight, I gave myself an Avonex shot and was grateful for the opportunity.

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