Two steps forward, one step back

I have been off Avonex for one month now. I feel so good.

My insurance company has not finished their contract with Dr. Foley and they think it may take some time. Dr. Foley suggested that I start back on the Avonex until things are resolved. I am doing my injection tonight. I am putting it off as long as possible. I didn’t realize how much emotional crap goes along with the physical side effects. At this moment, I cannot see myself loading the syringe into the little gripper and attaching the needle. At this moment, I have no idea how I will inject myself with the stuff that I know will make me so ill.

The thought that will get me through is that I have had no new visable lesions on my recent MRIs. That is reason enough. I will also think about the fact that this is only temporary. It could be that I only have another month of Avonex and then a month off and can get started on Tysabri the beginning of July.

I will act strong but I feel defeated. I will feel better after I get this injection over with….and then worse and then better again for six days.

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2 responses to “Two steps forward, one step back

  1. CC,

    I’m sorry you have to go back on the injections. I give you a lot of credit for even agreeing to do it. I don’t think I would have. It’s very encouraging that, in your case, it seemed to forestall any new lesions.

    Self-injections are hard in a number of ways. Especially when you know that you are going to have bad side effects (or site reactions, etc) afterwards. I finally had to stop. In my case, they were’t working anyway, so I didn’t have that added motivation.

    I went in to see about Tysabri last week. I qualify so I’m going through the process. I’m a little worried about the side effects, but they told me that very few people seem to experience them.

    I hope the Tysabri approval comes around quickly for you. I admire your courage right now,

    Trish

  2. I am thinking about you today – hoping it is not a bad one. Check out the MS & Yoga links I sent last night – there is some amazing stuff there! Keep giving yourself those things to look forward to – focus on them and they will come to you…love you SILLY

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